That time of year
by ofb29
Summary: ws. christmas comes but once a year. but a lot can happen in that year!
1. Happy Christmas?

It's that time of year. Again.

By Ria

Ideas mine. Rest of it is not

W/S don't like, don't read.

Please review- it's free!

The door shut behind their only suspect, as Brass sat in the recently vacated seat, audibly sighing. Sara methodically put sheets of paper into a pile, refusing to look up and meet Brass's eye, knowing what she would see when she did. Somewhere to her left, Warrick scraped a chair as he pulled it away from the table, sitting down with a sigh not unlike Brass.

'We can't hold him.' Brass finally said. 'We have nothing on him.'

'What, and the fact that Jenson was screwing his wife, the fact that he has no alibi for the time of the murder, or the fact that he accidentally threw out the clothes he was wearing that night mean nothing?' Sara asked, looking up at Brass now with hostile eyes.

Brass didn't take the hostility personally. They were all frustrated, on the wrong end of a second double shift, and watching their murder investigation fall around his ears. He kept his voice reasonable as he spoke aloud. 'There's nothing to link him to the scene of the crime. DA won't file with the case as it is.' For a moment, Brass looked away from Sara, up at Warrick, wondering what he had to say about it. In posture, he looked fairly relaxed, leaning back in his seat, playing with a pen on the table. It was only when he looked up at Brass that the frustration was evident, his eyes hard.

'So we find more evidence.' He stated suddenly, as if the idea had just occurred to him then.

Sara, the paper neat and in it's file, and nothing left to do with her hands, pushed the chair away from the table. 'Come on then.' She stated.

'Where are you going?' Brass asked. 'You've already finger searched the vic's house.'

'So we look a little harder, hope we find something more.'

Brass met her eyes, nodded. 'Ok. I'll babysit Kilburn, see if I can get anything more.' Brass said.

Sara stood up, looking across at Warrick who mimicked the movement.

'You do realise what day it is, don't you?' Brass's voice stopped them short at the door.

'Christmas day.' Sara stated. 'So what?'

Brass didn't get a chance to say anything more as she quickly walked out the door, followed by Warrick who had a hint of a smile on his face. He shrugged, talking to himself as he said. 'Just so you know.'

Sara looked around one last time at the scene of the murder. 'Ok.' She said. 'Ok.' She repeated, just because the word was all she had to offer. Then she sighed. 'Ok.' She said a little more forcefully. By this time, Warrick was watching her with a barely concealed amused look on his face, despite the circumstances.

'The victim was found here.' Sara finally said, slowly, as if she was trying to sound it out in her mind before she said it out loud. She walked over to a spot where congealed blood formed a large puddle on the hard wood floor, indicating a length with a sweep of her hands. 'He was curled in a foetal position.' She said.

She paused, her eyes sweeping the hard wood floor they had already done a pinpoint search of, before she looked up. 'The window is broken- broken from the outside, probably with a sharp object in the bottom left hand corner.' Sara carried on.

Warrick, knowing what she was trying to do, stepped over to the window. 'If Jenson climbed through the window, he would have trace on him.' He pointed out.

'Maybe.' Sara said, a glint forming in her eye that Warrick had learnt to identify as an idea forming. He followed her eye site to the left of the window, not seeing at first what she was seeing. 'Go outside.' Sara instructed him suddenly. Anyone else, and he would have wanted a full explanation of why, but as it was Sara, he went out, reappearing in the window place a few minutes later. It was a small window, about two foot square, fitting in with the small apartment that it led into. In the apartment, little was in evidence of the season, no tree or lights and only a few cards still in their envelopes. Warrick looked in at the depressingly small room, then looked at Sara, hoping to prompt her.

'Try and get in.' Sara said. As Warrick prepared to put his foot up on the window ledge she added. 'Without climbing in.'

Warrick looked at her confused. 'Without climbing in?' he questioned her.

She nodded.

Warrick paused for a second, wondering if it was trick, before he looked around him for other avenues. 'I suppose I can't just come back in the front door.'

'It's locked.'

'Right.' Warrick frowned. 'It was locked when the victim was found?' he questioned.

'Yes.'

'Ok, so if every other access point was also locked- no other window was broken, then perhaps…he had a key?' Warrick ventured.

'Why would he break the window?'

'To throw us off?' Warrick questioned.

'Look around. Closer.' Sara instructed.

Warrick put his head through the window, his eyes sweeping, wondering what Sara was getting at. Then Warrick saw it- a small hook hidden partially by a shelving unit, to the left of the window. Warrick reached in, seeing that he could reach the key although he didn't pick it up. He met Sara's look, his own eyes now excited. 'He smashed the window, picked out the key, opened the door, did his crime, locked the door and put the key back.' Warrick said.

Sara carefully picked up the key, dropping it into an evidence bag, and sealing it. 'He's been here before, we know that- he came round soon after finding out that Jenson was sleeping with his wife.'

'Saw the key, formed a plan, came back, killed the guy.'

'Still doesn't link him- it's all circumstantial unless we can get really lucky and a ridge print off the key- which I doubt he's stupid enough to leave.' Sara said.

'No, but there are less obvious places he might have left prints and never thought of cleaning off.' Warrick said.

Sara leant down to the crime scene box at her feet, getting out the finger printing powder and brush. 'Just our luck, he was probably wearing gloves.' She muttered as she handed the two items to Warrick, who immediately began dusting around the outside of the window.

'It was a crime of passion- he might have been planning to a point, but it was just incidental- remembering the key and getting in through the front door. Burning the clothes as they probably had blood on them. But hopefully he forgot to plan enough and left a nice fat ridge print outside the window as he leant against the wall to look inside.' Warrick said as he uncovered a near perfect hand print on the wall to the left of the window.

Sara leaned out slightly, allowing a grin to come to her face as she saw the ridge detail. 'Finally.' She said. 'A break.'

'No crime's perfect- especially when they're looking for revenge against their wife's lover.' Warrick spoke, carefully lifting the handprint away.

Sara watched, unsurprised as he dusted on the other side. If their thoughts were correct, and the prints matched, they would have enough evidence for Brass to charge their suspect. But both wanted it certain, wanted all the evidence they could. If only so when some hyped up defence lawyer tried to claim coincidence they could bombard them with evidence.

'And now we'll put him away for life, just in time for Christmas.' Sara finished with a happy grin as she found her own partial print on the wall by where the key had been hooked. 'Let's get this back to the lab.'

The evidence clerked, they watched behind the two way mirror, as Brass charged Kilburn with the murder of his wife's lover. They both gained a certain satisfaction as the man watched Brass stony faced, unrepentant, knowing they'd put away a vicious killer.

As Kilburn was led away, still stony silent, Warrick glanced at his watch. 'And just in time to get home for Gram's Christmas dinner.' He said with a grin. He turned to Sara. 'Have you got plans?' He asked, knowing that she didn't.

'Bath. Bed. Food. Not necessarily in that order.' Sara answered. She turned to Warrick, about to say "Enjoy your mea"l, when Warrick interrupted.

'You're coming with me.'

Sara's eyebrows shot up at his no nonsense tone. 'I am?' She asked confused, wondering what she had missed.

'If I go home and Grams finds out I let you go home alone on Christmas day I'll never hear the end of it.' Warrick said. 'Plus, you're not working tonight, and it's _Christmas_.' He emphasised as if that sealed it.

'Ok.' Sara said, unable to keep the smile off her face at his tone. 'Won't your Grams want a say in this?'

Warrick waved away the suggestion with a chuckle. 'My Grams has an open door policy for Christmas, and always cooks too much. Believe me, you'll be taking a doggy bag home tonight that'll last you to the new year!'

Sara shook her head, as she followed him to the locker room. 'And I suppose that I can't beg off this and go home to bed?' Sara said after him.

'Not a chance. Don't be such a bore. It's Christmas.'

'So everyone keeps telling me.'

Warrick didn't know why Sara had such a downer on Christmas, although guessed that having to spend it away from family didn't help. Although, he reflected as he watched her giggle over a photo album with Grams and a few of her friends, she didn't seem to be disagreeing with the plan now. 

Warrick tried to look at the spine of the photo album, wondering what year Grams was humiliating him with; by the tears of laughter rolling down both Sara's and Gram's face, he guessed it was the one with the naked baby photos in. Or worse, the ones of his first day at school when he thought short trousers, socks and sandals was a cool look. Warrick did a mental grimace. Perhaps it was a bad idea that he had brought Sara along. Or perhaps he should have hid away the photo albums when he first got here. Another thought came to him, and he vowed to keep Grams away from the attic, and the stack of home movies stored up there.

As he'd predicted, Grams had cooked enough to feed the five thousand instead of just the friends and neighbours who were alone and came round to enjoy the food and homely atmosphere Grams always created. Even Sara had enjoyed herself, helping Grams with the cooking, enjoying the food as they all had, then insisting that Grams sit down as she dragged him into the kitchen to help with the washing up. Not that he had minded all that much; it had been worth it to see her face when he pushed the bubbles into her face. Although the retaliation had been less fun when he'd found his own face full of suds, along with a few well aimed ice cubes down the back of his shirt.

He had been so lost in thoughts he hadn't noticed Sara stood in front of him, till she proffered a glass of wine in his direction. 'What are you thinking deep and meaningful about?' She asked as she sat down next to him on the sofa, her hand briefly resting on his thigh.

Warrick looked round at her, narrowing his eyes. 'Wondering what embarrassing photos my Grams has just shown you.' He said, trying to sound stern, although there was a glint of amusement in his eyes.

Sara patted his leg. 'Oh, nothing that's not in every kids photo album. Although I did like the schoolboy look. Who would have thought someone so cool once wore sandals with socks.' She said with a laugh at the look Warrick threw at her.

Warrick sipped his wine, laughing with her now as Sara continued teasing him about the naked baby photos she'd also been shown, both unaware they were being watched carefully.

Grams chuckled silently, sipping at what she wished was Gin and Tonic, but due mainly to her well meaning grandson was just lemonade. Finally getting to meet Sara, who Warrick talked about a lot, and seeing that she hadn't been imagining the look Warrick got in his eye when he did. It was there, as the two laughed together on the sofa, looking like they'd forgotten that anyone else was there. Now, Grams wondered as she looked around for the hidden bottle of wine, how to make them see what she saw?

She had a few plans up her sleeve.


	2. Merry Christmas one and all

That time of year (2/3)

Unashamedly mush. Tis the season!

Sara sat, trying to at least appear interested in what Conrad Ecklie was talking about. The annual end of year staff meeting was always held at precisely nine am, the Friday before Christmas, and only death, and your own at that, could be used as an acceptable excuse not to attend. Sara had a feeling that the sheriff's daughter could have just been murdered and Ecklie would still insist on the meeting going ahead. The three shifts were all present, and being at nine am, all the graveyard shift were looking a little worse for wear. Even she was having trouble keeping her eyes open, not helped by Ecklie's monotone voice.

The staff room had been decorated for the upcoming festive season, although she wasn't sure if a few bits of paper chains and a half naked tree constituted decorations. Sara tried to tune into Ecklie's recount of percentages of cases closed this year, but soon found her eyes, and consequently her mind wandering to other things. Under her gaze, the current subject of her wanderings looked up, caught her eye, smiling at her. Sara looked quickly away.

They might have had the best year in terms of closure of cases than they had in a while, but that was nothing compared to the changes in her own life.

Of course, being the completely clueless woman that she was, it had taken Sara a while to catch up with all the changes in her life. It had taken her a while to realise that the lunch's or dinners Grams invited her over for weren't purely for the fact that Grams enjoyed her company. Or that it was a coincidence that Warrick happened to be there every time. And every time, she and Warrick would end up alone either doing something like washing up, or preparing salad, or for longer periods, when Grams would go to a church meeting, or out to the community centre where she had several clubs she attended, insisting that the two stay, finish their coffee. Warrick would roll his eyes but they would settle back, finish their coffee. Of course, Grams had nothing to do with the fact that they would stay and chat. Or that the chatting would extend to breakfast after work, or over drinks in a bar.

One day stood out in her mind more than others; just a week ago, Sara realised, although in some ways it felt so much longer. The day that she had realised exactly what Grams had been up to all that time. They had finished work late, different cases but meeting up in the locker room, Sara inviting Warrick over for some breakfast, the routine for them by then.

They'd discussed their two cases over waffles and eggs, sharing the washing up even though Sara tried to tell him she could do it later. It was during the washing up that Warrick had jokingly splashed water at her. It had reminded Sara of doing the washing up at Christmas the year before, bringing a smile to her lips as she retaliated with a hand of foam. Warrick, however, had anticipated the move, catching her hand, and pushing it back towards her own face. Sara had resisted, pushing against him, finding herself stumbling into him when Warrick stopped pressing. 

Face to face, bodies pressed close, Sara's breath caught in her throat, as she looked up into amused brown eyes. Years of friendship suddenly took on new meaning, as Sara saw far more in Warrick than just as a good friend. Reflected in his eyes, Sara saw that it wasn't just her own thoughts, either. That he was looking at her differently all of a sudden, examining her, almost. Sara had always wondered why eyes were considered the windows to the soul, how someone could think they could see someone, just from the eyes. But suddenly, with Warrick's eyes on hers, she felt vulnerable, stripped of any defence she had ever mustered. She wasn't surprised that he was moving closer, that his eyes on hers were now seeking permission. Permission to put his lips on hers, to keep them steady for a few seconds as if waiting for a final refusal before moving, tasting, exploring.

What surprised her was that she yielded to the permission. She moved with him, letting him explore, taste, doing her own exploration. Her heart, that had stopped beating with the first touch suddenly sounded loud in her ear, pounding in her chest. The kiss felt so right. Sara realised that she had closed her eyes, and as Warrick pulled back slightly, breaking the kiss, she opened them to look up at him.

In that second, looking up at Warrick's face, reality came rushing back. Sara pulled away from him, putting distance between them, turning around, her hand going up to her mouth to touch her lips that felt hot, swollen almost.

Even now, sitting in the staff room with all pretence of listening to Ecklie trying to crack a joke about what they could expect in the new year, she could feel the ghost of the kiss against her lips, could imagine it as if it was yesterday.

So now, they were a couple, right? The kiss had felt so right, that they had kissed again, right? Carried on kissing till kissing hadn't been enough and they had moved to other activities. Sara felt like groaning. Because as soon as that sharp hint of reality had hit, she'd done what she always managed to do, and screw it up.

Instead of kissing him again, she'd asked him to leave. Instead of stumbling backwards deeper into the house, she'd watched him drive away. Instead of a smile, there was a distinct look of disappointment, of confusion etched on his features.

Ecklie was talking about the budget for the next year, a topic that Sara didn't even feel guilty about tuning out from. Budget worries hardly registered on her radar; that was for the big bosses to fight over, and for them little people to bitch about later.

So now what? That had been the big question that Sara had been pondering ever since. That and what the hell did she think she was doing?

Something had changed in her and Warrick's relationship a long time ago; there was no denying that. Except, they both had, both guilty of not willing to consider the changes. For two people that at one time could barely exchange words without the volume rising and the tone growing accusatory, now they could sit and talk for hours. Talk about anything. Sara almost winced at the irony of that thought. Talk about everything but this. Because ever since effectively chucking him out of her apartment for the crime of the gentlest, sweetest kiss she'd ever experienced, Sara had gone one better and refused to actually talk about it, acknowledge it with Warrick.

Why was she so thick sometimes?

She knew why. She just didn't like admitting her failures to anyone, especially to herself. And fear would always be a failure. And fear of her feelings was something that she would never admit to, if she could help it.

She had fallen for him a long time ago. Sat in his Gram's lounge sharing a glass of sherry (a tipple that Grams was very fond of, and insisted on all of them drinking to probably stop Warrick complaining about her enjoying it. The same trick she employed with doughnuts, and cookies, and anything else that her well meaning grandson didn't approve of). Sat in each of their respective kitchens, teasing each other about something or other. Sat in smoky bars, laughing or crying, depending on the cases they had just finished. That was when Sara had felt things change between them. Except she hadn't wanted them to change. She'd just found her best friend ever, and she didn't want to risk that. She didn't want to risk losing him just in case they might have something more.

Sara didn't mean to sigh, but seeing as everyone was now looking at her, she guessed it had come out a lot louder than she intended.

Ecklie was looking at her too, his flow interrupted, his look wasn't friendly or full of the festive spirit. 'Ms Sidle? Is there something you would like to comment on?'

Uh oh. That had done it. Not only had she interrupted Ecklie mid lecture, she hadn't even been listening to the lecture to have anything to comment on. She glanced over slightly, saw Warrick was watching her with the others, with a small smile to his lips. Sara wondered what he'd think if she knew what thoughts had led to this break in the usual meeting.

Sara shifted in her seat. 'I was just sighing…' She started, hearing the distinct sound of a snort being covered up with a cough. She looked round, glared briefly at a grinning Greg, and carried on. 'Every year it's the same thing. You stand up there, try to make a joke of the fact that the budget isn't anywhere near what it should be, and yet, make out that somehow we should be grateful for the fact that at least we work in this lab.'

No one ever said anything in these meetings. Least of complained about anything in these meetings. That was done later, over drinks in the bar, or in Graveyard's case breakfast at Hibby's. Certainly not by interrupting Ecklie.

Sara sat there, with bated breath; along with everyone else it seemed in the room, waiting for Ecklie to say something. He didn't get to.

'Finally, someone's brought that issue up.' Alice, a CSI on days said with a sigh. The room suddenly seemed to be filled with chatter as all the staff suddenly tried to shout above the others to get their disgruntled views out.

Sara let a small satisfied grin come to her lips at the chaos around her, and nearly unnoticed, slipped from the noisy room, Ecklie not making the sound level any better by trying to yell above everyone else for them to all shut up.

The changing room's silence was a relief, and Sara quickly pulled out her coat and bag from her locker, in a rush to leave the place before the rest of the meeting could disband. Too late, behind her she heard the door open and shut closed, footsteps approach, then pause, stop.

'Who knew that Sara Sidle cared so much about department budget.' A familiar voice said. It was meant to be light, joking, but with recent history between them, it wasn't going to be that simple.

Sara made careful work of shutting her locker door, turning the combination lock before facing Warrick. 'Well, you know, it's the same every year, and every year no one says a thing.' Sara said with a shrug.

'Yeah, I thought that was it.' Warrick said with a knowing grin, although Sara didn't think he had the slightest clue what she had really been thinking about.

'It was!' Sara protested, laughing as Warrick tried to nod with a straight face and failed.

Warrick looked over at the bag and coat slung over her arm. 'You're not coming out for breakfast?' He asked in surprise. It was a tradition for the whole graveyard to go out for breakfast after the staff meeting, the primary agenda of which was to complain en masse to Grissom about things he could barely influence anymore than they could.

'Um…no, I was just gonna go home, crash. It's been a long week.'

Warrick nodded, although Sara could see he didn't believe her excuse. 'Oh. Well. It won't be the same without everyone there.'

He shifted, obviously uncomfortable. Sara could empathise, she wasn't exactly feeling relaxed being here. In some ways she wanted him to mention it, just to get it out in the open rather than it just hanging unsaid in the air between them. 'Got any plans for Christmas?' He asked.

'Well, working Christmas Eve again.' Sara started. 'And then…probably…go out for dinner.' Sara finished in a blatant lie. She had no plans. She was planning to offer to swap shifts with Nick, and work Christmas night as well, cause then at least she'd have the perfect excuse in sleeping through the day.

'Well, uh, my Grams mentioned, if you didn't have plans, to invite you around. But if you've got plans…' He let the sentence hang.

The conflict of interest caused her to pause, on one hand about to agree that she had plans, but then thinking about all the times that Grams had invited her into her home that year, and that maybe, at Christmas, she shouldn't snub the invitation. But then again, it was only because of the scheming conniving woman that she was in the position of possibly losing her best friend because she was scared of losing her best friend. Grams knew exactly what she was up to.

But Sara couldn't stop a small smile coming to her lips as she remembered the subtle measures Grams had gone to throughout the year to engineer situations so that she and Warrick could be alone.

She was saved from having to come to any answer that didn't involve "um…" by the changing room opening again, and Catherine saying indignantly 'did you have to start booing, Greg?'

'Yeah, but did you see how red Ecklie got?' Greg replied enthusiastically.

Nick and Grissom followed behind. 'And here is the star of the show.' Nick joked, looking over at Sara. She and Warrick were stood at opposite ends of the locker room, and had turned to them. Sara laughed at Nick, saying 'well, it got the meeting cut short at least.'

'That it did, girl, and I thank you so much.' Catherine said, rescuing her coat and bag from her locker. 'Lets get to Hibbys.' She added.

The others were in quick agreement, and even Sara, who couldn't think of a good enough excuse not to go, found herself being dragged along with the crowd.

Joe, the owner of Hibbys, greeted them like they were; the best customers he probably had. They settled into the loud moaning of the meeting, and as all Sara could remember was the stats for the cases closed that year, she didn't comment, but listened to the others complaining, catching up on all the news. It was far better than listening to Ecklie anyway.

She was aware, at various times throughout the meal, of Warrick glancing over at her. Usually, she wouldn't think twice of it, but today it was the expression on his face whenever he looked her way. It was a thoughtful look, much more serious than usual, and it definitely wasn't because of what they were discussing, especially as Greg was currently doing his expression of Ecklie.

Sara steadfastly refused to look in his direction, scared of what else she might see in his look. She wanted to go back to the way things were, before the kiss, before all this awkwardness between them. Go back to being friends. Best friends. Why did it all change?

They separated outside of the diner, most of them back that night anyway for no doubt more complaining, Catherine happy cause she had the week off to spend with her daughter at Christmas. 

Warrick hung back, waiting for Sara, but had only one thing to say to her. 'Come over for Christmas. I'm sorry for what happened. Can't we put it all behind us and enjoy Christmas? Grams will really miss you if you don't come. Plus, I'll never hear the end of it.'

Sara nodded her ascent. 'Ok, I'll come. For Grams.' She added, just to emphasise the point.

'That woman has a lot to answer for.' Warrick said with a grin as he turned around, walking off to his car.

Sara could do nothing but agree with him.

Those next few days, more of their old friendship settled in, joking around in the staff room, teasing Nick. It felt more like old times, but Sara could still feel something was different, something had changed with that kiss, and she wasn't sure that it was ever going to be the same. But at least this way they were friends again.

Christmas Eve night, she, Warrick and Nick were the only ones in, sorting out a bunch of seasonal crime, mostly involving theft and fights after too much booze. They finished on time, all with other places to be. Nick was in that night, but was going to his latest girlfriend's house for Christmas dinner. Sara drove home for a few hours sleep, before driving the now familiar route to Grams house.

It was already filling up, many of the same people that had been there last year back again. They were mostly older people, who had no family near by, who enjoyed Grams family Christmas atmosphere that she created.

Soon after getting there, Sara found herself dragged into the kitchen by Grams, the door closed firmly behind them. She was handed a bowl of sauce to stir as Grams checked the various pots on the stove before turning to her, regarding her seriously.

'So, what is going on between you and my Grandson?'

Sara looked at her, shocked that she had asked the question straight out. 'Well…uh…I…'

'Yes, that's close to what Warrick said. Although he used less syllables.' Grams said. Her look softened slightly. 'I know, this is none of my business, that this is between you and Warrick.' She said. 'But whatever is happening, I hope that you can see what I saw back last Christmas.'

Sara looked at her confused.

'Oh, you can try and hide your feelings, or fight your feelings, or simply ignore them. But you cannot sit there and look me in the eye and tell me you don't have feelings for him.'

Sara couldn't. So she didn't try.

'But something happened recently, something that changed all that, and now you seem to be stuck in this limbo.'

'Warrick's my best friend.' Sara said when she could find her voice. She was studying the sauce, although under cross-examination in court she probably wouldn't even be certain of the colour.

Grams stayed quiet, letting her talk.

'I don't want to risk losing that.' She carried on.

Grams chuckled slightly. 'What makes you think you will lose that?'

Sara looked up at her sharply. 'Everything will change.'

'Everything's already changed.' Grams said gently. 'But I don't think you could ever lose him as a friend. And whatever happens, it will be made all the more special because you are so close already. Partners can be best friends.'

Sara looked into the age wizened eyes that reminded her so much of Warrick's.

'Have you spoken to Warrick about this?' Grams asked.

Sara looked pained as she looked down at the sauce she was meant to be stirring, shaking her head.

'Don't you think you should? I know he's a man, but he might be thinking something similar to you, you know.'

Sara pondered this for a minute, till Grams interrupted her thoughts with her own musings. 'I'm getting on in years. It would be nice to know that Warrick had a suitable woman around to keep him in check.'

Sara couldn't stop the grin at that.

'Now,' Grams wrestled the bowl from her grip. 'Go and enjoy yourself.' At Sara's surprised look she added 'You didn't think that I was going to let you hide in the kitchen, did you?'

The meal was delicious, and suitably stuffed and unable to move, Sara collapsed on the sofa next to Warrick. 'I don't think I could eat another thing.' She declared, trying to be discrete as she undid the top button on her jeans.

Grams wandered by, a tray of mince pies in her hands. With a glance at Warrick, Sara reached forward, taking one without having to be cajoled. 

'Can't eat another thing?' Warrick said with a laugh as he too took a mince pie although he was equally as stuffed.

'It's Christmas.' Was Sara's only reply as she took a large bite of the delicious crisp pastry and filling.

Warrick would have replied but he already had his mouth full.

They watched the afternoon movie, feeling much better as Grams started getting the tea ready, although Sara wasn't sure how much she could eat without risking the ability to ever being able to move again.

Following tea, it was strange, but Sara had the distinct feeling that people were leaving faster than they perhaps would normally, and when Grams announced she was off to the evening church service, Sara got distinctly suspicious. And she was fairly sure that Grams winked at her as she firmly closed the door behind her.

Warrick leaned back against the back of the sofa, letting out a sigh. 'Every year, I tell myself not to eat too much. Every year I do just that.' He said.

Sara was at the other end of the sofa, in a mirror position to Warrick. 'oh, I swear I've never eaten so much in my life.'

For a moment they were silent, till Warrick spoke. 'It's been a weird year, hasn't it?'

He didn't turn to look at Sara, although she was watching him carefully, wondering where this was going.

'What happened between us…' He carried on, pausing to look at her. 'I didn't mean for it to make you…uncomfortable. But I have to say, I thought it was right.'

Sara could hear the hurt in his voice and felt guilty that all the time she had been thinking about how this affected her, she'd forgotten the most important bit, that this affected him as well. 'It did feel right.' Sara said, wanting him to know that there was nothing wrong with the kiss. The kiss would stay in her memories forever.

'So what happened after?' Warrick said, looking at her with a pleading look. He reached across, gently picking up her hand in his. 'I don't understand what happened after.'

'I…I…' Why couldn't she get out a complete sentence?

She took a deep breath, looking at where their hands were joined, focusing in on how right it felt, how much she had missed his touch in the last few days. Because although the kiss had been the climax, the time leading up to it had been increasingly littered with touches: a brief hug, linking arms as they walked. And Sara missed all that. Taking strength from the fact that she'd already chucked him out and he was still there, still wanting to hear this, she carried on. 'I got scared, Warrick.'

'Scared?' He asked confused. 'Scared of what?'

'Scared of losing you.' Sara said honestly, only managing to increase the confused look on his face.

'Why would you lose me?'

'Look, Warrick, you're the best friend I've ever had, and I don't want to risk that.'

'But that's the best part.' Warrick said. Sara looked up at him. 'You're my best friend, but over the last year, I've also fallen in love with you. It couldn't be better. You'll never lose me. I thought you'd realise that by now. You're stuck with me, whatever happens.'

For a moment, Sara was speechless. All her worries, all her insecurities, suddenly melted away at the sincerity in the words Warrick spoke. There seemed only one response that she could make. She leaned over to him, her hand settling flat against his abdomen as their lips met.

Warrick broke the kiss first, smiling at her, cradling her face gently in the palm of his hand. They were both pretty much speechless now, although neither cared, both lost in the other's eyes. Warrick was the first to get his voice back. 'Merry Christmas.' He whispered. Sara's only possible response with the amount of working neurones left in her brain was to capture his lips back with hers. Funnily enough, Warrick wasn't protesting.


	3. merry christmas we three

That time of year (3/3)

Happy Christmas everyone!

Ria 

It always amazed Sara the differences a year could bring. How could everything change so much in twelve months, in such a short space of time? Sara remembered once reading a magazine article about the most stressful things in life. At the top was something like moving house, losing/changing your job, and being bereaved. In the past year, Sara had experienced all three, and that didn't even cover the biggest event that had happened that year. As she moved around the supermarket, her mind wandered over the events of the past year, and whilst she had either cursed or cried her way through a good deal of it, she now found a small smile forming on her lips.

Because January had started in the best fashion. She'd had New Years Eve off of work, with Warrick and Nick as they had worked Christmas Eve. They'd gone out to a nightclub, she and Warrick successfully managing to lose Nick in the crowds. They'd left, eager for action that wasn't legal in a public place, and as the clock struck midnight they'd been exploring their budding relationship to the most intimate level.

What had started as such a great year, at least for the month of January, continued with that promise. Work was great, she and Warrick were making up for all the lost time in the last year pretty quickly, and Sara didn't think she'd ever been happier. Sara should have counted her blessings then, rather than even consider that she could be lucky enough to have the luck carry on.

The first blow came on the first day of February, in the middle of a hot breezy day, that she and Warrick had been totally oblivious too, considering they were fast asleep. The phone waking them up wasn't that unusual; Sara refused to turn the ringer on the phone off, but the ansaphone cut in after two. It was the sound of her mom's quiet calm, forced voice that woke Sara, saw her picking up the phone, learning that her father had died of a heart attack.

Sara had never been particularly close to her father, but the news struck her hard, unexpected as it was. Her dad was the fittest person that she knew. Had apparently forgotten to mention the angina he suffered with. The anger had startled her almost as much as the grief and bitterness did.

She'd flown home for the funeral, stayed with her mom, but as Sara wasn't prepared to go and live back in Tamales Bay, and her mom refused to come and live anywhere near "Sin City", she flew back alone. At least Sara had the knowledge that in a community that her mom had lived all her life, she was far from alone.

Everything seemed to calm down, for a while at least. One good thing that Sara was able to reflect now was that she was at least closer to her mother than she had been in many years.

In all the excitement, though, Sara managed to put feelings of nausea down to grief, the missed period down to stress. Managed to somehow completely miss the fact that she was pregnant until she was eleven weeks gone.

Announcing at work that she and Warrick were a couple had gone down with a bit of shock. Most were ok about it. Some people even seemed to be expecting it. Greg was the most shocked. He'd spread a rumour the week before that they were a couple, after seeing them leave work together. Hadn't actually expected it to be true. Had not been prepared for the couple in question to be the ones to confirm the rumour.

If they thought that had been a shock, though, announcing a little over a week later that they were also gonna have a baby had caused total silence. If Sara had her way, she wouldn't have told them at all. But they'd had to tell Grissom, it being the law and everything, and so they'd decided to kill many birds with one stone and tell the lot of them together.

So, everything had calmed down significantly since then. She and Warrick had loved every minute of the pregnancy, had flourished in their relationship together, everything had turned out completely rosy.

Not quite. Sara had hated every minute of her pregnancy, had hated Warrick, and hated the baby. Luckily, most of that was the rantings of a hormonal woman, but there were elements of truth to the statements she'd hurled at Warrick for most of the pregnancy.

She hadn't enjoyed being pregnant. For one thing, it restricted, and eventually meant she had to give up the job she loved so much. Sara had resented the growing bump, and had put most of her energy into trying to deny the baby growing inside of her.

Her and Warrick's new relationship suffered because of just that; they were a new couple, barely able to function as just the two of them, neither of them ready for a new addition to the family. They had two things in their favour, though. They could talk. And they were in love. Sara tended to forget both things often, but she always eventually found herself back with Warrick. Talking to Warrick. Loving Warrick. In all the uncertainty of the year, that had been the one stable thing in her life. That Warrick was always there. Took the shouting, the swearing, the hate, was even able to make a joke about it, always readily accepting her back in his arms again.

They moved in together because it seemed like the obvious thing to do, and it turned out to be the best thing they could do. While it had taken them a while to get used to being in close quarters, they had very quickly learnt to feel at home together.

For six months she wished she wasn't pregnant. When she had the baby, two weeks early (causing Warrick to groan that the baby was just like it's mother; not a good thing to say to a woman in the middle of a contraction) she quickly wished to be pregnant again.

The little girl was beautiful. Sara couldn't deny that. But boy could she cry. They eventually named her Eva Grace. It was the baby's namesakes, Sara's mom and Warrick's Grams that were Sara's saviours in the first few weeks. Sara didn't want to even speculate about what would have happened if they hadn't been there.

Sara looked down at Eva now, safely strapped in her state of the art pushchair, the gift from the graveyard shift at CSI. The three month old was completely oblivious to the fact that it was the festive season, fast asleep as she was. The fact that Eva didn't know what time of year it was, hadn't stopped her and Warrick going slightly crazy over gifts that probably wouldn't be useful in years. Still, going round the toyshop had been fun, and they'd enjoyed themselves, finding all the toys still around that they'd played with as children. It was only recently that Sara had been able to enjoy Eva being around. To take joy in the smiles, in the frowns, in the funny faces that Warrick would pull that Eva would just stare blankly at. It was only recently that Sara had begun to feel like a mother. She'd spent so long resenting the fact that she couldn't work, that her every move and action had to be planned around the baby, that she'd failed to realise the good side to all the upheaval, to take stock of all that she did have. Christmas, as it turned out, was really helping Sara to see that, to enjoy that.

Of course, Christmas hadn't been free of stress. The real argument, that year, had come when they were trying to decide where to go for Christmas day. Grams had invited them to her usual open door dinner. Sara had been keen, seeing they were virtually the cause of her and Warrick ending up together. They were all set to go there till Sara's mom had invited them to Tomales Bay. Sara hadn't been home for Christmas in almost ten years, and especially with it being the first year her mom would be without her dad, she had felt torn.

So after much discussion, and the fact that Sara and Warrick still couldn't decide on where to go, Grams had come up with the perfect solution. The dinner was held at Sara and Warrick's house, cause it was big enough to seat everyone, with Sara's mom, who readily agreed to coming to Las Vegas for the holiday, and Grams doing all the cooking. For Sara, Warrick and Eva it was the best of both worlds; they had their family around them, and Sara didn't have to do any of the cooking. They'd all enjoyed watching Eva open gifts, the youngster finding tearing up the wrapping paper much more fun than the actual presents. Christmas day had turned into a relaxing, family day.

Sara's mom had flown home a few days after Christmas, to be back at the B and B for New Year. Sara was just getting a few last minute essentials in before New Years Eve that night. When Warrick found out he was off for the night, they quickly decided to stay in for the night. Not just because a babysitter for the night would have cost the earth, but after the year they'd had, they both just wanted some time alone, just the three of them.

Sara paid up in the supermarket, packing everything up in the car. She'd got used to the fact that she couldn't do anything in a hurry now, that everything needed planning before hand. That even when she did plan, something usually happened to change that plan. That such a small being could cause so much upheaval with just a cry.

Eva woke up as Sara was nearing home, wanting a feed and not seeming to understand that momma couldn't stop in the middle of the road and feed her straight her away. Luckily, Warrick came out as Sara parked the car, grinning down at the sound his young daughter was making. Whilst Sara had taken to mothering like a fish cycling in water, Warrick was a complete natural with Eva. At first, Sara had been jealous, but over time had learnt to be grateful of having such a hands on partner, especially when on his nights off he insisted on being the one to get up when Eva cried.

Sara started making dinner as Warrick fed Eva. This stay at home mom deal had meant she'd had a lot of time to practice cooking, and now had several dishes to her name that she could cook like a pro. They played with Eva, ate dinner while Eva tried to decide whether the plastic ring on one of her toys was edible or not.

She and Warrick finally collapsed into the sofa later than expected, after Eva decided she didn't really feel like sleeping that night. She'd finally drifted away in Sara's arms whilst Warrick read out of his favourite Dr Suess book. 

For a moment they just relished the silent house, being in each other's arms. Sara leant forward, rescuing two glasses of wine off the coffee table, handing one to Warrick. As she settled back in his arms, Warrick gently kissed her neck. 'Remember what we were doing this time last year?' He asked softly.

'Trying to set Nick up with the girl at the bar so that we could sneak back to mine.' Sara said with a giggle.

'Been quite a year, hasn't it?' Warrick said, his hand tracing light patterns on her abdomen.

'If you'd told me this time last year we would be living together and have a young baby, I would have laughed myself silly.' Sara said with a smile.

'Who would have known that sneaking off to do it in your apartment would cause so many problems?' Warrick said with a laugh. 'Would you change it, if you could? Go back and do things differently?' His voice had sobered up, his tone serious.

Sara had thought honestly of this for a long time. And for most of the year she would have immediately said yes, she would change things. She'd fix it so the condom wouldn't split, that they hadn't had a baby so quickly. For a lot of the pregnancy that had been her only wish.

But now, things were different. She shook her head, turning in Warrick's arms so that she could look at him. 'No, I wouldn't.'

Warrick's surprise was evident in his facial expression. 'You wouldn't?'

'No.' Sara said simply. 'I know it's been a hard year. That we didn't have the year we thought we would. And I know I hated being pregnant, having Eva. But now…well, it's hard to imagine life without Eva, or living here with you, having both of you in my life.'

'You don't regret it?'

'Not anymore.'

'Even work?'

Sara shrugged, looking up into his startling green eyes. 'How can I regret anything when I've got such a gorgeous daughter, a loving partner? I know I didn't want to give up work, but now…now returning doesn't seem so important. I don't miss it like I thought I would.'

Warrick's face split into a massive grin, as he leaned forward, capturing her lips with his. As he pulled back, he looked at her. 'You don't know.'

Whatever he was about to say was interrupted by the unmistakable sounds of their daughter waking up. They smiled at each other, Sara rolling over. Warrick went to move, but Sara put her hand out, stopping him. 'It's ok.'

Warrick stayed where he was, watching Sara leave, listening on the baby monitor as she entered Eva's room, gently cooing to the crying baby. Hearing Sara baby talk to their daughter brought a smile to his face, the memories of the year melting away when he thought of how far they'd come, how much they had now.

The door to the lounge opened, interrupting his thoughts, and he looked up at the two woman who made up his life. Sara took a seat back on the sofa. 'Eva was getting jealous.' Sara said with a smile, settling back in Warrick's arms, positioning Eva between them. Warrick stroked back Eva's baby curls, kissing her forehead. The baby gurgled appreciatively, settling into her new position between her parents.

'What were you saying?' Sara said as she reached forward for her wine, taking a sip.

For a moment, Warrick's face was blank, till he remembered the conversation. 'I was gonna say how much it means to hear that. That you don't regret having Eva.' Warrick said.

'How could I?' Sara said, looking at the baby snuggled between them who was quickly falling asleep.

'Do you realise what time it is?' Warrick said.

Sara looked around at the clock on the VCR, surprised to see that it was almost midnight. 'I wanted to ask you something.' Warrick said, making her look back at him.

'What?'

'Well, you have to understand I had it all planned out. We were gonna be standing outside, underneath the stars, dancing, at midnight. I even set up the disk player outside for the music.'

Sara laughed, 'I wondered where that had gone.'

'But, as neither of us can actually move now, I guess I'll just have to ask it here instead.'

'What?' Sara said.

'Hold on…' Warrick, trying not to disturb Eva too much, fished around in his pocket, finding at last the jewellery box. He held it out, open, staring deep in Sara's eyes as he asked 'Sara Sidle, will you marry me?'

Sara's eyes left his, looking first at the ring, then down at their daughter. They'd had a year neither would have planned, but now, she knew, she wouldn't change what she had in a million years. As she looked back up at Warrick, he was surprised at the glean on unshed tears in her sparkling eyes. 'Of course I'll marry you.' She whispered, scared otherwise her voice would break and the lump in her throat would tighten, and the tears would fall.

It turned out, though, that the tears were destined to fall anyway, as Warrick placed the simple diamond ring on her finger, and gently lifted her chin up, capturing her lips in his, never wanting to stop the kiss. Outside, the fireworks started, forwarding in the new year, and pressed between the two bodies, Eva slept peacefully on, satisfied as only a baby can be.


End file.
